WTF News Barn
"Nothing changes. The humans keep fighting about it. We take notes."
The Temporary Fuel Tax Pause Is Temporary. It Says So. Repeatedly.
Bill C-38 extends the "temporary" pause, then halves it, then ends it, which is how you know it's temporary.
Full story → Sniff Test: 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️ (5/5)
The Temporary Agency Is Being Made Permanent. It May Still Call Itself Temporary.
Bill C-40 would turn a stopgap defence agency into a Crown corporation, then would tell the corporation that obeying the Minister is good for it.
Full story → (with a filing from Snowbird) Sniff Test: 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️ (5/5)
Ottawa Declares War on Red Tape; Paperwork to Follow "Shortly"
Bill S-7 "targets amendments to 31 pieces of legislation to remove regulatory burden and red tape." Full story →
It's Not a Snare, It's a "Stopped Body Restraint"
Ireland told a records request no records on "snaring of badgers" existed. The Information Commissioner called that "not justified." Goose: name the trick. Answer the wording, dodge the question.
Complaint Bounced 16 Times in 40 Days
South Korea's two telecom regulators passed one complaint back and forth 16 times. "Ping-pong complaints" rose from 47 to 556. If you can't explain whose job it is to a chicken…
Greetings from Florida, Eh
Snowbird, a Canada goose, has landed in a lawn chair and is reviewing the Canada–U.S. file. First postcard arrives with the launch edition. Wish you were here. Mostly.
Column coming soon
Records Ready by Sept. 29, 2076
Nebraska says the requested records will be ready "September 29, 2076," for $976,263.78. Moose has seen slower rebuilds. Not many.
🏆 Fort McMurray's Tow "Valet"
Illegally parked cars "may be towed to the nearest lawful location, such as a nearby street." Fine: $400. Valet service, with a $400 tip. (Honestly sensible. The wording is the joke.)
| Promise | Status |
|---|---|
| Temporary federal fuel excise tax pause (C-38) · Barn Report | Started April 2026. Would be extended to Jan 31, 2027, half rate Feb–Mar, full rate Apr 1 (ministers said). Passed House; awaiting Senate. |
| C-40 "temporary" Defence Investment Agency · QP, Translated | "Explicitly a temporary structure." Would become a permanent Crown corporation that may still call itself the Agency. At second reading. |
| $25B Canada Strong Fund (announced April) · CBC | Launch date, manager, how it works: TBD |
| Hamilton 26°C cooling bylaw · CBC | Passed for one ward. Pilot 2027, review 2029. "Four summers" later. |
| Red-tape directive instructions · canada.ca | "Made available shortly" |
C-40 · full story
📌 Ottawa wants to make a temporary defence agency permanent. Under Bill C-40 it "may also carry on activities, and identify itself, as the Defence Investment Agency." The permanent thing keeps the temporary name. WTF? 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️
📌 Bill C-40, s.9(2): "The Corporation must do as the Minister directs, and doing so is deemed to be in the best interests of the Corporation." Goose notes "deemed" is doing all the work here. WTF?
📌 Snowbird has been informed the House plans to replace "the aging Snowbird CT-114 fleet." Snowbird would like it known that this is about planes, and that Snowbird is not aging, Snowbird is migrating. WTF?
C-38 · full story
📌 The temporary fuel tax pause, started April 2026, would be extended to Jan 31, then half rate Feb–Mar, then full rate Apr 1. Temporary, extended, half, then not. Cow has read it twice. WTF? 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️
📌 In the House: "That is why I have said several times that this is a temporary measure." Cow confirms it was said several times. That's the system working. WTF?
📌 An opposition MP, citing Milton Friedman: "nothing is so permanent as a temporary policy." The barn would like to add the slogan "a third of the relief for a third of the year," also in Hansard since April. WTF?
Also MOCKUP
📌 $12M CRA security contract decided by $80K. Loser's CEO: "public sector procurement on autopilot." Sniff Test: 🐿️🐿️🐿️ CBC
📌 Ontario One Call is now Ontario Dig Authority. Everything else "remain[s] unchanged." It's "not a retroactive rebrand." The sources disagree on the date. Ontario Dig Authority
Sniff Test (this edition): 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️ · Squirrels everywhere